Settling in. Finally.

It’s been a while since I last posted a personal blog entry, but this has been in my head recently and I am trying to write more often.

It’s taken me almost 7 months of my PhD and 4.5 years in Cambridge, but (I think) I’ve finally reached a steady state.

Life as a Cambridge undergrad was very stressful, in a particular “unstable” way. Everything is structured around chunks of eight weeks, where you cram in as much as possible of your learning, but also of your social life. They’re followed by considerably large periods of “breaks”, where you are supposed to rest. But you’re also supposed to study, catching up with leftover things from term and preparing for exams. Then there’s the 4-month summer “holiday” where you are meant to do internships, get ahead for next year and learn things “for fun”. And of course, travel around the world with the money that you’ve made tutoring high school students in your “free” time. Don’t get me wrong, all these things are great -and I’ve done them myself-. But everyone ends up running around from one place to another, to do the next thing.

If exams were not concentrated on one week at the end of the year, and instead were spread out across the year, maybe Easter term would be less terrifying for students. The same argument can be made about deadlines in a particular week of term. And so on. But no, I’m not going to criticise the Cambridge (maths) system this time, since I’m sure there are other problems with potential alternatives. I’m just saying all this to remark to put my previous experience in context. A PhD is also hard and stressful, but in different ways. I could (and hopefully will) write long about doing a PhD more generally, but it does come along with some practicalities.

Physically, I now actually live in Cambridge. I have access to my accommodation for the whole year. I do not have to pack my belongings into boxes between terms for my room to be used by strangers. I own items, like a big monitor or a double bed, which make my room comfier. Oh, and I get paid.

A PhD is in indeed sort of like a job -for some students, especially experimentalists, it is really very close to a 9 to 5 job-. Though I do not consider my PhD a “9 to 5” (it is something I am passionate about) and I happily work some weekends and evenings, sticking to a rough routine is helpful. The option to work from the office (yes, I have an office) is one of the benefits. Most importantly, it makes you feel like a professional. Just as someone in a graduate role doesn’t feel guilty for not working all their waking hours, I am more than happy to take off my evenings (or early mornings, if I am rowing…). Moreover, it becomes imperative to get some mental (and physical) rest, else burnout is inevitable because holidays are shorter and less often.

While shorter breaks may seem like a disadvantage at first sight, it actually helps (at least to me) to ensure I take a proper break. I went on holiday last week, and I think it was the first time in over four years that I didn’t have my laptop with me for that long. As far as I love my work, it was a much-needed break. Now I’ve been able to properly re-set and start this term with a fresh mind, which is really needed in the PhD routine.

If you don’t make one yourself, unlike in undergrad, there is nothing like a routine in PhD. Though for some people this has drawbacks, for me this means that *I* choose my own schedule. And almost always, I also choose my own deadline. Some are artificial and if I am marking work for undergraduates or giving a talk, I’ve chosen the date for this in advance. This means I no longer have to put up with meetings back to back or deadlines cramped in one particular week of term.

All of these were present from the start of my PhD in October 2021, but -probably naturally- it is only now that I’ve felt really settled. Both personally and academically, a PhD meant (almost) starting from scratch. It takes a while to become familiar enough with the literature to start doing some proper research. It takes a while to get to know people well. It takes a while to discover the things one ought to be doing as a PhD researcher. It takes a while to decide which social environments you want to be involved with. And it takes a while to find the right work-life balance.

And that is especially true when not only does work enter your life more than it should, but life (aka COVID-19) enters your work. Now that the media gives less attention to the pandemic, it has become easier to distinguish between the two. While my twitter is mostly academic/professional, I now only read the news if I want to, as any person does. Of course, there still are (and will always be) ill-defined activities, like writing a blog post (which I am starting to consider as writing practice and hence “work”), talking about my research with friends (everyone still cares about the future of the pandemic) or giving a popular talk. But I am very happy with my current set-up, and I can finally see myself doing this for years, without rushing to the next step.